My condition in recent times

Good News:

• Seizures at bay. Most recent one was on the 27th of March 2014. They are lessening in severity and frequency as well
• Self injury is down from what it was last year- most likely due to increased sensory awareness
• I consider myself "fluent" in sign language nowadays (well, I have a lot to learn but I can carry out a basic conversation)

Bad News:

• I still cannot speak with ACTUAL WORDS (grrrrr)
• I still have melt downs over random things 
• Lucia's car died (it was 14 years old) 

For the anon who asked. I hope this helped 

Galina Baranova on Youtube channel: Оли Шестаго

Autistic Misunderstandings

Whenever you see an autistic at the store please don't yell "WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY??!?" at the top of your lungs.

I don't care how mad you are. I don't care how high you are. I don't care how drunk you are. Just don't do it.

The Gruberova war is back on-BRING IT!!!

This is it. The armistice has been scooped and destroyed. And I shall not let my guard down against these Grubero-philes who defend bad art and bad singing. 

Remember La Straniera? Guess who's singing it now-Gruberova. In this particularly decrepit performance, Gruberova's awful scoop-scoop-scooooooooooooops, fragmented and fluff-hollow middle voice, horrible intonation, revolting cadenzas and overall bad artistry are clearly audible throughout. Here's the video:

 uploaded by none other than our Gruberovian Queen coloraturafan.

And as you see in the comments section the grubero-fags are either turning a deaf ear to the Gruberovatrocity or are simply in denial that Edita is terrible and needs an egg shower. Even Coloraturafan knows that his Gruberova is awful; he went as far as to block me and another Gruberova gadfly who had posted less-than-positive reviews of this demonstration. He is just paranoid that one day the cotton bubble surrounding Edita Gruberova shall unravel, exposing her to be the clown she is.

Pay attention to MegaOperafreak-a Grubero-fag who has previously attacked Alexandrina Pendatchanska's 2001 Straniera in favour of Gruberova's (the very Gruberova in which there's already a scoop ten seconds in!!). Criticising Cecilia Bartoli's recent Norma (with Sumi Jo; although it's not perfect, it's still decent) in favour of Gruberova's (the Casta Diva alone suffocated as if she were singing with a pillow in her throat-even though she was singing the higher version!). This one here epitomises the sheer stanism of Edita's followers.

Oddly, this reminds me of the Netrebko-Callas-Dessay wars of late 2009-early 2010-the only difference is that I am not a mediator, I am staunchly anti-Gruberova and pro-Belcanto (as opposed to Gruberova's blind followers who have not the slightest idea about the bel canto method whatsoever).

any last words? BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back on the Scene

Yes, I have returned to the scene, and better than ever!

And yes, I have been on hiatus because of seizures, I had an exceedingly scary grand mal which got me whisked away t the E.R. where I remained until 6/05; what they had shot me full of there had gotten to me so I was essentially bedridden, I did not return to my energetic old self until the 6/13. The nurse assigned to me wanted to do my EEG; however, Lucia objected as I was all so high-strung that I would descend into a melt down and damage the machinery, and that I have had countless EEG's done in the past and they never revealed anything. So she gave me a dose of I-don't-know-what (the basic rule of Nursing 101-if you have absolutely no idea of what to do: live by the syringe, die by the syringe), but despite me feeling very tired it worked, (almost) no more seizures.
  
As a result, I have started on this new "Antiseizure" diet which reduces the seizures severity and frequency (have not had one since 6/08); this means that I do not have to constantly worry about falling down hard on the floor, extremely annoying if it happens to me this much-and that I can return back to the blogosphere.

Lucrezia got an i-Pad (they're taking over the earth!!!) that we've been obsessed with; she's been all talk lately about getting a twitter account. She has been so obsessed that if as much as an unsuspecting drop of di-hydrogen monoxide even vaguely graze the surface of her vital device, she will let out a shrill and piercing Shriek, and will not settle until the entire screen has been vigorously scrubbed with means of her choice. However, she still lets us use it (albeit under her strict watch), and hasn't been too uptight if I tap a tad too fiercely or if Lucia sets it near the sink (but let water touch it? Arrivederci, mia cara Lucia!).

(And did I tell you Annabelle is now visiting her mother in Ulsan?)

Cordially,
Maxwell van Simionato
On the Nineteenth of June, 2013

And all because he knew too much

And the fortunate events of the days of my past have returned. 


At around 10:15 AM I receive a rude awakening from a grand mal seizure. I find myself on the floor, still tense yet tired from all of the repeated stiffening and trembling, still frothing at the mouth, tongue sliced and bleeding, the muscles in my face repeatedly grimacing until those ache as well.

Not fun.

I still manage to find my way from my room, through the hallways, down the stairs, and into the chair I sit in each morning. Lucrezia was already downstairs, and she could tell by just one look at me what had happened.

" Oh, Max, you've had a seizure!" she gasped. "Are you all better now?"

I try the best that I can to sign yes. I lied.

For Lucrezia will panic if I am not 'all better now', because that translates to 'something else is on the way!' And if 'something else is on the way!', then she would overreact and make a huge deal over a seizure which is as normal to me as breathing.

 "That's good," she says. 

Now I have come out of the seizure completely and am well enough to walk around on my own. I stand and follow Lucrezia to her room, where she had been organising her clothes-she meant to buy laundry detergent but forgot as soon as I had come downstairs. And she wanted to go now.

So I followed Lucrezia to the store for laundry detergent (and a few more things, it turned out), no meltdowns or disruptions. I was calm for the entire shopping trip. 

Returning from the store, Lucia and Annabelle having returned from their own errands, we all relaxed and played Galina Baranova. Not one single meltdown when the CD skipped.

And thus the days of calm have arrived. We all know that this is the calm before the storm.

How long will it last? That I wish to know.

And thus this matter is settled

I have returned

Yes, I have returned from Oviedo-with both good news and bad news.

I shall start with the bad first, because it leads to the good.

Remember that week-long seizure-free streak? It has come to an end. Within about 5 MINUTES after we checked in to our hotel I was on the ground in a grand mal seizure. Apparently it was a bad one, because I woke up in a hospital. Lucia and Annabelle were at my side for the entire rest of that day, while Lucrezia went to see PEND. 

Yep, I missed seeing Pendatchanska.

But then comes the good part: Lucrezia told me all about Pend's low register and how it carried all the way to where she sat, and about her Vibrato and how it gave chills down her spine. 

I wished that I could have been there.

So after that we stayed in Oviedo for a few days, and we returned on the 9th. 

And I had a seizure on the returning flight.

Fortunately it stopped shortly before we landed. I was agitated after the event, but that frustration was short-lived and I got over it quickly. 

If anyone went to see Pendatchanska on the 2nd-please provide more insight!

An entire week seizure free

Hard to believe, but it's true-an entire week devoid of seizure activity. 

I have no idea how it happened, but it's as if the attacks went away as if they saw a ghost. 

Lucia and Lucrezia were astonished as well. I have been extremely energetic and have never felt better before. It's as if I have never had a seizure before. I have been this way since the 14th!

On the 12th a grand mal seizure came out of nowhere, and I was very agitated. Two other seizures came afterward, which meant that I was bedridden on the 13th and for a part of the 14th. I had to resort to biting the back of my right hand to ward off any impending meltdowns. But on the 15th I immediately felt much better, I was basically all over our house with an abundance of energy. I have been like this ever since. 

And not a single seizure!

And it gets even better-Lucia got us tickets to see Pendatchanska in Verdi's Eboli (Don Carlos) on the 27th-Pendy is a soprano, but she is here singing a mezzosoprano role, Eboli. (Gruberova could never.) I shall have to wait and see how she does!! That has been on my mind since last month when I looked at her upcoming season.

   

Your fav could never

 

A Gruberova stan dared to attack Pendatchanska's interpretation of Elektra/Elettra (of Mozart's Idomeneo) merely because Pendy decided to add an extended High C almost three minutes in. He paid no attention to Penda's drama, her ferocity, her vocal stability that his Asthmadita Scooperova could only dream of, and her stimulating vibrato on the very High C that he called "ridiculous". 

This from the one who stans for a clown who suffocates through even the simplest of lines, cannot project at ALL in low/middle vocal register, and scoops all her high notes! But oh, she is a 'legend' now! Ah, the delusions!!!

Wake up! This is reality! And in reality, YOUR FAV COULD NEVER!!! BRAVA PENDATCHANSKA!!!!!!

Face it-Edita Gruberova is going nowhere

Apologies to the Gruberovian Queens who did nothing to cause me to attack. 

This is for ilNuovoArchaeOpteryx. 

A Youtuber who refers to Joyce Didonato and Jennifer Larmore as true "assoluta" singers (and they are indeed very versatile but do not have the range of an Assoluta) yet goes around on Edita Gruberova videos praising her and even saying:

"I want to hear Pendatchanska sing that aria at 66."

As if age had anything to do with good singing. Yes, a singer's voice peaks in its 30's through early 50's, but that in and of itself makes not a great singer. What makes a great singer is the way one sings a role. At the time Pendatchanska made her debut as Elisabetta, she was 27, still young but with some experience. She was powerful, her vibrato in "Va, la morte" and the final "Quel sangue versato" stimulating, support in the low tones (most notably the Bb in act II), and an immense musicality seen no where else besides Callas and Marisa Galvany.

And even after that ferocious singing at a very young age, she is still going strong at 42, recently singing Eboli in Spain (couldn't attend due to seizures :( I heard she was fabulous!). 

However, just look at that pathetic Edita Gruberova. Her "voice"-or what's left of it-is steadily decaying, a la Natalie Dessay if not worse. Her recent performance of "Anna Bolena's Ice Cream Parlour" in 2012 was a mess-she didn't even attempt the low notes anymore, each note above Bb5 was scooped so hard I held my ears and couldn't listen anymore. Gruberova has taken a dive headfirst into a deep black pit of vocal decline, and there is no escape. Only one solution-retirement.

So which is the better Elisabetta? A 66 year old vocal ridicule who can hardly scoop out notes anymore, or a 27 year old vocal extraordinaire who brings out the drama in one of Donizetti's heroines?

You decide. 

Ewa Podles' Ulrica-Un ballo in maschera

  

Magnificent contralto Ewa Podles in Verdi's Ulrica (from Maschera). What a marvellous, amazing voice!

Russian contralto Galina Baranova sings well below contralto C

Another marvellous video I have been listening to a lot. This Russian contralto Galina Baranova is very rare; much like the Polish Ewa Podles, Baranova can easily sing below contralto C (c; C3). I have a CD of her 'Romances' and it is one of the CDs that usually plays throughout the day. Galina is very underrated as well; she deserves a listen (or two!) and some recognition, as she is a very rare voice that may fall into oblivion one day due to the coloratura craze.

Mayr's Medea in Corinth with Marisa Galvany

Marisa Galvany in the title role of Medea by Simon Mayr. Galvanising performance (pun completely intended), low notes, focussed middle, ringing high, taking the final 'discernerà!' up an octave up to a high d'''! 

A Soprano sfogato with 3-octave range from low E (in an aria written for Malibran) to high E (numerous occasions, notably in I Puritani and another scene from Mayr Medea), Galvany is a very underrated singer. The coloratura craze was as eminent in the 1960 and 70s as it is today, with people preferring 3rd class coloraturas such as Renata Scotto over true sopranoes sfogato such as Galvany. (Apologise for the coloratura bashing...) 

This particular aria got me through that EEG on the 23rd (coincidentally the birthday of Edita Scooperova-erm, Gruberova), as well as a particularly noisy location with a lot of sensory assaults (I shall not go into detail, let's just say that I had a meltdown before the Galvany came out). Galvany is quickly becoming more and more admired by me and others. With that being said, Bravissima Marisa!!!

EEG went well!! Oh yeah, and Galvany.

SO I went for my EEG exam today.

It was extremely fortunate that I had read many positive experiances (especially the one at Facing Autism) with EEGs and autistics. These I used as inspiration to get me through the exam without incident.

It worked!

Normally I would be pulling at the monitors and caterwauling like a banshee attempting to get away. Then about 10 or so (because I am 2.1m tall and infantile autistic) would have to hold me down so I could not run away, and it would have turned into a meltdown with a flurry of SIB.

But not this time. Equipped with a stim toy (and Galvany's rendition of Medea) I went in. Although I was caterwauling softly the entire time, I sat still (aside from mild partial seizures that caused me to twitch uncontrollably) and was almost completely calm during the process. Lucrezia stood wide-eyed and pointing, as though in disbelief. 

So-a round of thanks to Harold and Conor at Facing Autism, as well as to the supersoprano Marisa Galvany and her astounding range. If not for the aforementioned, I could not have made it.

And Then There Were Three...

Today I finally went home from the hospital after I had a grand mal seizure on the December 18th that lasted about 115 minutes in length, followed by another one that lasted 92. Although my seizures have always been this long (even longer) they haven't been that frequent. 

The following day I had 5 grand mal seizures (one nocturnal) each around 78-96 minutes. I could not sleep and was severely irritable and had meltdowns so severe they had to put restraints on my wrists so I could not get out of the bed and/or hit myself. Everyone was in a constant state of fear, as no one knew when I would snap and fly into a rage. 

On the 20th I had 6 grand mal seizures and 3 tonic-clonic-tonic ones. Lucia forgot to time them but we know that all were well over 120 minutes. I literally seized all day. The exact thing happened today. So far I have had 4 severe grand mal seizures over 120 as well as a small partial one lasting about a few seconds before lapsing into an over 180-minute long tonic-clonic-tonic seizure. My body is tired; it has done nothing but seize hard, violently, for hours at a time, I constantly have postictal spasms that cause me to fly off into a meltdown; I was so spastic that I choked whenever I attempted to eat or drink; I have a weird feeling in my hands no amount of flapping would get rid of.

We depart for our house, my seizures unable to be controlled by even hospital staff. 

On the way, I had a seizure in the car. Since we arrived at the house far before it stopped, Lucia had to remain in the car so that she could keep me in the Seizure Safe position (head held and body rolled onto its side) and so that Lucrezia could run off into the house 30 minutes into it. (She's new.) This one again lasted over 180 minutes.

Once inside, as if on cue, I fell again into a seizure. This was to be my longest one today so far; it clocked in at 196 minutes.

That's when I got scared. That long of a seizure can be deadly.

These have always been long, but never this frequent. Today's total amount=7.

Three of these were super-seizures. This is not good.

Seizures as far as the eyes can see

Seizures.

3 of them, two of them over 60 minutes long.

The shortest (a complex partial/myoclonic) and second longest (grand mal of course) occurred within seconds. The stand-alone one was a tonic-clonic-tonic seizure (these are now my most common ones) and I vomited both times. I was lucky not to have any huge meltdowns, I had little energy, I only got a little agitated by the phlegm and vomit that spewed from my mouth during and after the seizures. This happened yesterday as well.

When they were finished, the shaking in my right leg increased. I drooled a lot. I need rest.

Lucrezia (she's a newbie, Annabelle's intern) got freaked out by the long scary grand mals and ended up running away, she could not watch (scared much? :)) and Lucia had my head on her lap (not to mention the fact she got spewed on) while the seizure(s) happened so I would not hit my head (we don't need more seizures now, do we?)

After the last seizure I was (hopefully) back to normal. Minor meltdown occurred when I got a bit overloaded at a Christmas gathering we attended (it was over quickly). Now I am energetic and SHALL. NOT. SLEEP (I fear nocturnal seizures) and also I am listening to Liszt (while holding my favourite sensory toys of course!) and his Dante Symphony.

To the Edita Gruberova's Stans

This is for all of the Edita Gruberova stans. 

Yes, I know that you admire Gruberova.

And yes, I know that sometimes I judge Edita a bit too carelessly.

So on this new blog, I shall try not to bash Gruberova or any of her stans. (Youtube is a completely different matter.)

No more Gru-bashing on this blog, unless a queen or stan compells me to attack.

Hello and welcome

Hello all,

I am Maxwell van Simionato, a 38 year old  with severe Autism. I live with two carers Lucia and Annabelle (and a new intern Lucrezia), both of whom are avid opera-goers, and I sometimes follow them to performances by my favourite singers. 

I like to write about anything that comes to mind.

Aside from opera and , I also like Gardening, writing, and stimming.

I like to write about my experience with autism and seizure disorder, my favourite opera singers (which include i.e Marisa Galvany, Alexandrina Pendatchanska and Ghena Dimitrova), as well as opera in general.